The Kharma Equation

Plan Bee product-Wedding present for Robbie and Abigail

"Maybe this is just one of those days,

Where the best we can do is play along...

Things just ain't going according to plan,

Maybe this is just one of those days,

But there's still time left for some more things to go wrong." - Robbie Gil 

Friday was just one of those days! I have to say, I am very blessed that I don't have many of 'those days'. It's probably due to my philosophy for life; I am a firm believer that you create the mess you find yourself stuck in - kharma baby! For those of you not familiar with the Buddhist theory, I like to think of kharma as a mathematical equation:

Action (good being a positive, bad being a negative) x quantity = happiness/suffering

Therefore, since each person is completely in control (freedom of choice) of their individual actions and reactions, thoughts and feelings, people that have good thoughts, actions and feelings will have a positive situation in life, happiness. And obviously, people who choose to have bad thoughts, actions and feelings have a negative situation in life, suffering. 

Since I understand that the only input into this equation is the 'in' that I 'put', I try always to put in good actions so that my life equation stays in the positive. Yesterday's negative life situation was my failure to react to the negativity that surrounded me. Not that I want to have a bitch-fest, but let's just take a glance at yesterdays shitty kharma equation:

Friday, July 13th (shit it was Friday the 13th!)

Normally I work from home on Friday's but this week is Freshmen orientation at Purchase College therefore all employees in Enrollment Services needed to work Friday and Saturday. There were a few people in my office that were radiating negativity for 8 hours because they were so upset about having to work. I tried to deflect this energy all day = (-8)

Traffic was horrendous! I received an email a week ago from the traffic gods (I honestly don't know who or how I got this email) about the George Washington Bridge going under construction starting Friday which warned all drivers that there would be an increase in congestion especially around commuter hours. For some reason, traffic makes everyone want to kill thy neighbor because there was serious road rage emanating from every car that surrounded me. I took a deep breathe and tried to sing along to my favorite tunes to get me through the hour in an attempt to dodge the negativity and a potential car accident = (-6) 

(By the way, the numerical values I am assigning each of these situations is subjective the only important thing to note is whether they are negative or positive numbers)

Finally, after 6 PM I made it to the Captain Lawrence brewery and had a cold liquid gold. It melted away the traffic jam but I couldn't shake the feeling of a long day at work. So a group of us decided to head to a new mexican restaurant down the street to have margaritas (that is the best medicine for a bad day) and some enchiladas (also good medicine but not as effective as tequila). We popped down the street and got a table right away, had a slow start to getting our order in but soon the margaritas hit the table and the conversations took flight. Fast forward, two hours later we are dry of drinks and still without food. The table across from us finally received their food and shortly after they began eating, several of them sent back their plates complaining of the taste, temperature and texture of their food. This was the cattle prod to my butt that got us moving. I was up like lightening, storming out of the restaurant with an empty stomach. Talk about being kicked when one is down, "The patient needs her medicine!" = (-20) 

Now, I should have practiced a little more patience and tried harder to deflect the neglect we were receiving at the restaurant but I had used up much of my patience on the day and all bets are off when I have an empty stomach. I become a scary person without food, not an excuse just an observation from experience. I went straight home while Evan went through the Wendy's drive thru with our friends. The dog needed to be taken out and I had only an hour left before my homework assignment (for my current Microeconomics course) was due. I sat down to the computer after a quick walk and a wave of 'oh shit!' ran over me. It was a difficult assignment that required hours of preparation. The program I use to do my homework grades it as I submit my answers which are a combination of equations, graph plots and fill in the blanks. I receive a 67% at the end of my hour . . . a feeling of defeat = (-25)

After I finished my homework, I went into the living room to share some time with our friends who were up for the night. I tried to focus on having a good night but felt myself apologizing for all that had gone wrong. Really, I was apologizing for my inability to let go and have a good time so I went to bed feeling like a bad hostess = (-30)

Let's roll out the numbers:

(-8) + (-6) + (-20) + (-25) + (-30) = -89 suffering

I don't really know what that number means, except I can feel it and Friday did feel like a negative 89. The next morning, I felt in a funk and it took almost an entire day to shake the feeling. But it was just one of those days and with the passing of time, it stings less and less. I am going to chalk it up to a series of strange events, just one of those days, the magic of Friday the 13th, a test of my patience, and a lesson learned. Because as my mother always has said, "if you don't learn from adversity, it is an opportunity wasted and the lesson will repeat itself until you learn."  

Introduction to Plan Bee

I don't seem to be very good at keeping up with my blog. I don't think I have that many readers anyway but it still makes me sad when my last entry was over two months ago. I use the excuse "I have been busy" but I would rather not make excuses and just dedicate myself to writing more.

There have been many events that have taken place in the last two months and I feel as though I am entering a new chapter in life. It is these transitions that I wish I documented better as I go through them but instead only seem to catch up with my thoughts after the main events have come and gone.

First, summer arrived and left behind the melancholy of winter. Sunshine brings everyone out into the streets and patios to catch up with friends on what the winter brought or left them. The smell of charcoal and the sound of lawn mowers induce an intoxication that sends me into bliss. Summer and the heat are by far my favorite phase in a year. Naturally, the wafting smells of BBQ have brought hungry guests to our home and have kept Evan and I very busy.

In addition, I started my first college course at Purchase College in June. One of the perks of working for the State of New York is I can take one course a semester for free. I started off with Microeconomics, a 7-week online intensive course which is new material for me. I have learned a lot so far but it has required at least 3 hours a day on top of my full-time job and making time for smoked ribs marinated with friendly conversation. Weeks have turned into months and I have been oblivious to the passing of time.

These are all exciting adventures that are improving the quality of life and feeding my mind, soul and stomach. But the Spring season was slow moving and filled with rejection and heart ache. Many of you know what I speak of but those who do not I am going to reserve the right to keep those stories within my family and friends for now and speak only of the triumph that has arisen from the ashes. For now, let's just say 'there were a series of unfortunate events that led to the discussion and planning of Plan Bee'.

What is Plan Bee?

I hope to share with you all of the journey as my husband and I embark on this exciting new adventure which we have deemed Plan Bee. It is a long-term goal with much planning and exciting explorations to come that will hopefully bring us from point A to point Bee (I am teasing now, I know).

Evan and I birthed this plan out of asking the question "what do we want?" which produced the answer "we want to be more". We want to follow a dream that is beauty incarnate and strip away the stress of working to make money for the sake of having money. We want to go back to our roots and move closer to creation and therefore our creator. We want to let our souls fill up our whole until the lines between "I" and "us" become nearly indistinguishable. We never want to work for one man again but work for an entire community.

Evan and I want to go into business together and open a community shared agricultural, self-sustaining brewery in the Hudson Valley. We want to incorporate Evan's Scottish roots of brewing meads and my families history of farming grain together to produce completely local, fresh, made-of-the-earth-we-stand-on beer that will bring our community in the Hudson Valley together.

Hard work? We are up for it!
Learning new skills? Our pleasure!
Discipline and Organization needed? My speciality!
Creativity and inspiration? Evan's strength!
Stressful and difficult? Not afraid!
Cooperation and collaboration? Will bring Evan and I closer together!

Part I: Education

We have a multi-part plan to get us from where we started (the day after tragedy struck) to Plan Bee. The first part of our plan is education. I am working towards receiving my Masters in Business Administration so that I can make sure that our business is staying above the "shutdown point" (a concept I recently learned in my Microeconomics course) and Evan is home brewing, working extra hours at Captain Lawrence Brewery and as of this last week, building small scale models of brewing equipment and doing test runs.

At the end of October, Evan and I will plant wheat and rye in our front yard in Dobbs Ferry to educate ourselves on the process. We will then be able to harvest, if all goes well, in July 2013 to understand the labor and partake in the experience of turning our homegrown grain from a plant into a malt for brewing beer!

As my fortune cookie read tonight, "Nine tenths of education is encouragement" which means this story isn't for everyone. As I tell our story I want to state that I am not looking for a fight, I’m not interested in making anyone feel faulted, and I’m not trying to convince you of anything you don’t already know.

Evan and I want to be more and we are going to strive to do so with the utmost patience, respect and humility with the best intentions for an uplifting future for our lives and the lives of those around us. So far, I haven't heard a discouraging word although I know Evan has heard a few but happily those moments have helped us build a stronger foundation instead of bringing about doubt or despair.

Thank you in advance for all of you that share encouraging words and love as we dare to be bold and try to be more!